ofkillers:

I just want a boyfriend with messy hair and a good taste in music

amoying:

im always suspicious of anyone that finds me attractive

(Source: amoying)

scalded:

aimmyarrowshigh:

I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.”  What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION.  “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.

*vomits*

(Source: aimmyarrowshigh)

candynecklaces:

cliffhangers are so

wolfie-mcwolferton:

phasecock:

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

galactic-paws:

adrians:

so I was shopping for underwear online and this appears

image

??? ??!? ?

the longer I look at it the funnier it gets

Dick eyepatch?

now your dick can be the pirate it always wanted to be

The fearless butt pirates we have all heard about.

dorkfeyrac:

people that are dorks but also sexually attractive need to either stay away from me or get very very close to me